Septem res

The Seven Liberal Arts, from the twelfth-century Hortus Deliciarum.

Fayrouz sent me this assignment, which I have slowly but whimsically completed. Of course, clumsy as I am, I have messed up the formatting. Sorry, everyone.

Seven things I plan to do:

1. Get a PhD in Medieval History sometime in the next four years.


2. Play for the NBA. This is less likely than plan #1.
   


3. Order the expensive wine for once.
   


4. Cover the imperetrix pulcerrima Africae Occidentalis with jewels and the finest silks of the mysterious and alluring East.


5. Sigh, and wistfully pull the cord on the old chain saw one more time...


6. Own an emu.


7. Travel, travel, travel.

Seven things I can do:

1. Read a charter in Visigothic script, given enough time and good light.


2. Blather on and on.


3. Google efficiently.


4. Panic with great elegance.


5. Insult someone in English, Spanish, Latin, Italian, German, French, and Gaelic.


6. Make damn good lentejas, soliciting golden opinions from all sorts of people.
   
7. Procrastinate with an almost otherworldly intensity.
   

Seven things I can't do:

1. Juggle.


2. Appreciate Nascar.


3. Convince the guard at the White House of my sincerity.


4. Dunk without a trampoline and a basket only four feet above the ground.


5. Rap in Latin (but I'm trying, I'm trying).


6. Get this probation thing off my ankle with only a pocketknife.


7. Watch reality television without feeling that civilization has fallen apart and that the barbarians are not only at the gates, but in the control room.

Seven things I say most often:

1. &%#@*!


2. What?


3. Groovy.


4. Row, damn you, row, they're gaining on us... and they're armed.


5. Si lo pones ahi, va a estallar.
6. &#^$%!
7. No, it's only blood.
   

Seven people I want to pass this tag to:

1. Guillaume le Fou.
2. Mi primo.
   
3. Eon de l'Etoile, the mad 12th century heretic of Brittany.
4. The laughing cat.
   
5. The old man who punched me on Broadway.
6. Cleopatra, asp-bitten and pale.
7. Frank O'Hara, wherever he may be.